Brenda Rosaaen C.E.C. ~Personal Development Coach~

Whew, that was close!

You’ve probably noticed the whole Resolution Theme I have going on here… For me personally, I decided my goal for 2009 is to shake off my cement shoes and make it a year of decisiveness and action!

We all have things that we procrastinate on. One of those things for me is books.

I have books throughout the house, in my office, by my bed in case I want to read at night, near my treadmill (I like to read and walk), in both my vehicles (most of my reading gets done in the car while I am waiting for my kids), and in my purse (while waiting for my husband, usually J ).

So to stay true to my Resolution, I gathered up all the unread books and ended up with 29 in my pile!!

Would you believe nine of them have been “started”, some nearly 2 years ago! I decided to get back on track by reading a little each day. I used to do that, but somewhere along the way, don’t know when or why but other priorities came along. Life has a way of doing that to us.

I made a decision that I would Absolutely Not open another book till I finished what I’d started. So far I’ve managed to stay on track.

Then it happened… Barnes and Noble…

Many of you know I live in a very rural part of the country, so my book shopping usually consists of Amazon. Which works out just fine, but for me books are like potato chips- you can’t have just one!

Anyway, I decided to go out of town for a few days and yesterday I stopped at Barnes and Noble, just to look.

Yeah, Right.

I ended up with 4 more books - Shame on Me! When I reached my destination and was getting out of my car I opened up the bag, getting ready to choose which book to start on first…. Then I remembered! Whew, that was close! I closed up the bag, put it in the back seat and left it in the car.

Yea Me! I managed to stay on track, but it was close. J

~Brenda

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Self Improvement - Keeping Your Resolutions

It's two weeks into the New Year. How are you doing on those resolutions that you made? Remember the ones that you had so much fire and passion about?   The ones that you vowed, that this would be The Year?

If you are one of the few that are still hanging in there, Congratulations!!  If you are one of the many that have gotten off track a bit, but managed to get back going again, Congratulations!! Why am I congratulating both groups of people?  Because you are still doing it!

It doesn't matter how many times you stop, what's important is that you keep trying. Yes, it can be more frustrating and takes longer to reach your ultimate goal, but you will make it. The key is that you don't stop.

It's so easy to beat yourself up if you've let your goals slide. You may tell yourself, you're a failure, can never stick to anything, just don't have what it takes, and numerous other false statements that pop up.

Pretty soon you may change those words, and attempt to convince yourself that, you are happy the way you are, that change is for someone else, people may not accept you if you change too much, you weren't meant for success, life is just fine the way it is.... More FALSE STATEMENTS!

You go back to your comfortable life. Is it really that comfortable?  Before you know it, an entire year has passed and you start thinking about New Year's Resolutions - Again.  Are they the same ones you set last year? How does that feel?

Generally we fall off track because something is holding us back. More often than not, it is NOT the obvious issue that we would like to think. We use excuses like, No willpower, No time, No money, etc. If you are stuck in the trap of excuses maybe you need an accountability partner, a good friend to keep you on track, or a Coach.

Lastly, if you are among the majority of people that got off track and haven't yet attempted to get going again. Just do it! Who says you have to start January 1st. Why not start January 14th?

Have a great day!

~Brenda

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Life Coaching - a friend in the passenger seat

Have you ever noticed when you are driving someplace new, it seems to take forever to get there? But the drive back home goes so fast? When it's a long drive, the closer you are to your destination, the more you're looking at your map or rereading the directions.

Is it this exit or the next? Wait, did I just pass my turn? Maybe I should just turn around and go home? Constantly questioning if you're on the right track. Then out of nowhere appears a landmark or sign to remind you that you're on course. Whew, just a little bit further to go. But then as the miles pass you start to wonder again.  And then the really crazy part, you're just about there, within minutes, looking for the street name...  You turn down the radio... What's up with that?

You are so engaged in getting there, mentally, physically and even emotionally that you don't want any distractions. You just want to get there.

Life is just like that. When you are trying something new, or have a goal you want to reach.  It seems to take forever. You are going into territory where you've never been before. You become so fully focused on your desire,that when it appears to be taking longer than planned, you often doubt if you're on the right track, and begin to look for assurance.

You see signs along the way, things start to fall into place, supportive people show up.  You are then reminded that this is the right path.  And then more roadblocks appear. Am I ever going to get there? You begin to wonder.

Working with a Coach is like having a passenger along for the ride. Someone who has been on the trip already. A coach helps you prepare for the roadblocks ahead, giving you reassurance that you are on the right track. They encourage you along the way, bringing a new perspective - or a short cut, that you may have missed, had you been on your own.

Not only is your trip more enjoyable but the time seems to go so much quicker when you have someone with you along for the ride. Before you know it, you've arrived! ;)

~Brenda

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Gratitude

Have an attitude of gratitude! How many times have you heard that one? Unless you've been living under a rock, probably a gazillion times. Every personal development coach, trainer, speaker, self-help motivational guru out there tells you to do this.

Often times it can be easier said than done.  Challenges and set backs seem to come at us from all different directions. Maybe your relationship isn't working out the way you thought it should. You've hit yet another roadblock in your career. Maybe you've lost a spouse or family member. An unexpected illness has occured. Or maybe your car finally pooped out and you have no other form of transportation.  The list goes on.

Even in the most extreme circumstances, you can find something to be thankful for, some bright spot.  It just takes some conscious effort.  Take for example the various natural disasters that are so often shown on tv, there always seems to be someone being interviewed that has found a way to turn a devastating circumstance around.

One exercise you can do is, from the moment you wake up, start making a mental list (on paper is even better) of all the things that are good in your life. For example: #1) I am alive, #2) the sun is shining, #3) the newspaper is actually at the door, not in the bushes where the paperboy usually throws it, #4) that was a really great cup of coffee...

Stop and really think of the most simple everyday things. So often we go about the day and not even notice the little things. The funny thing about gratitude is, the more grateful and thankful you are about the things and events in your life, the more you will begin to the notice all the little blessings in disguse.

Here's to the little things. Cheers!

~Brenda

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Kids can be great teachers

Talk about resilience, kids really are a perfect example.

Have you ever noticed how, when kids are faced with adversity or challenges they just seem to automatically snap back like a rubberband?

Think about the toddler just learning how to walk. He stumbles and teeters and falls over and over again. Only to get up and try - over and over again. Sure most of the time there is an adult somewhere nearby picking him up, helping him to balance and get going again. However, even when there is no one to come to his aid, the child will still try to get back up and get balanced and going on his own.

The great thing about that age? No negative self-talk! Do you think that toddler is saying,"Well, I fell down six times already today, what's the point in getting back up? I'm just going to fall down again."  Or, "Man, this is getting hard. I think I'll just sit here until that nice person comes over here and gets me back up." Or, "Walk? Are you kidding me, why would I want to do that, it's so much easier riding in the stroller!" 

Ok, so you get my point. But it doesn't stop there. The same thing happens when kids learn how to ride a bike. They don't stop the first time they fall off, or the second time or the third.... Sure, maybe there might be a little trepidation getting back on, but they do it anyway.

Why?  It's their drive and desire to be able to do it. That desire is so big it overrides any underlying fear. Not to mention all the benefits they are going to get back! They can have new adventures they've never had before on that bike. A bike is like a ticket to freedom when you're a kid.

What is your desire? What drives you? What are some of the benefits that will come to pass, once you go for your dreams?

Is negative self talk keeping you from stepping out, from moving forward towards the life you desire?

;) Brenda

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Self-Improvement ~ Resilience

When you come upon setbacks and frustrations in life, are you the type of person that makes lemonade out of those lemons?  Or do you stand there look and that pile of lemons and lament about how sour they are?

If you're like most people, it's real easy and very tempting to just kick that pile of lemons and let them roll all across the ground and just say, "To heck with it!".  But really what good does that do? You may get a temporary spurt of satisfaction, but in the end you are actually worse off, because now not only do you have the sour lemons, but a mess to clean up!

According to Dictionary.com, Resilience is defined as:

1.	the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.

2.	ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.

With all the things that life often throws our way, it can be pretty easy to feel bent, compressed, and stretched!  So how do you get beyond that?

One simple way is just to change your verbiage.  It takes a little bit of conscious effort at first, but just by catching yourself as your negative thoughts and words start to form, stop and try to re-frame how you're speaking. Just like adding some sugar to those sour lemons....

Now some things are just unavoidable and out of your control. But just to be sure ask yourself, "Have I done all that I can to render the situation?" If you feel you have, or the situation is of no fault of your own, another great question to ask is,"Could there be some underlying circumstances that I am unaware of?" Often times this can be the case and when you become aware of it, that can bring a totally new perspective to the situation. Sometimes solving it altogether.  :)

~Brenda

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