Brenda Rosaaen C.E.C. ~Personal Development Coach~

Whew, that was close!

You’ve probably noticed the whole Resolution Theme I have going on here… For me personally, I decided my goal for 2009 is to shake off my cement shoes and make it a year of decisiveness and action!

We all have things that we procrastinate on. One of those things for me is books.

I have books throughout the house, in my office, by my bed in case I want to read at night, near my treadmill (I like to read and walk), in both my vehicles (most of my reading gets done in the car while I am waiting for my kids), and in my purse (while waiting for my husband, usually J ).

So to stay true to my Resolution, I gathered up all the unread books and ended up with 29 in my pile!!

Would you believe nine of them have been “started”, some nearly 2 years ago! I decided to get back on track by reading a little each day. I used to do that, but somewhere along the way, don’t know when or why but other priorities came along. Life has a way of doing that to us.

I made a decision that I would Absolutely Not open another book till I finished what I’d started. So far I’ve managed to stay on track.

Then it happened… Barnes and Noble…

Many of you know I live in a very rural part of the country, so my book shopping usually consists of Amazon. Which works out just fine, but for me books are like potato chips- you can’t have just one!

Anyway, I decided to go out of town for a few days and yesterday I stopped at Barnes and Noble, just to look.

Yeah, Right.

I ended up with 4 more books - Shame on Me! When I reached my destination and was getting out of my car I opened up the bag, getting ready to choose which book to start on first…. Then I remembered! Whew, that was close! I closed up the bag, put it in the back seat and left it in the car.

Yea Me! I managed to stay on track, but it was close. J

~Brenda

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Self Improvement - Keeping Your Resolutions

It's two weeks into the New Year. How are you doing on those resolutions that you made? Remember the ones that you had so much fire and passion about?   The ones that you vowed, that this would be The Year?

If you are one of the few that are still hanging in there, Congratulations!!  If you are one of the many that have gotten off track a bit, but managed to get back going again, Congratulations!! Why am I congratulating both groups of people?  Because you are still doing it!

It doesn't matter how many times you stop, what's important is that you keep trying. Yes, it can be more frustrating and takes longer to reach your ultimate goal, but you will make it. The key is that you don't stop.

It's so easy to beat yourself up if you've let your goals slide. You may tell yourself, you're a failure, can never stick to anything, just don't have what it takes, and numerous other false statements that pop up.

Pretty soon you may change those words, and attempt to convince yourself that, you are happy the way you are, that change is for someone else, people may not accept you if you change too much, you weren't meant for success, life is just fine the way it is.... More FALSE STATEMENTS!

You go back to your comfortable life. Is it really that comfortable?  Before you know it, an entire year has passed and you start thinking about New Year's Resolutions - Again.  Are they the same ones you set last year? How does that feel?

Generally we fall off track because something is holding us back. More often than not, it is NOT the obvious issue that we would like to think. We use excuses like, No willpower, No time, No money, etc. If you are stuck in the trap of excuses maybe you need an accountability partner, a good friend to keep you on track, or a Coach.

Lastly, if you are among the majority of people that got off track and haven't yet attempted to get going again. Just do it! Who says you have to start January 1st. Why not start January 14th?

Have a great day!

~Brenda

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A New Year, a New You!

It’s that time of year again. Time to make your New Year’s Resolution!

If you’re like most people, you are looking to make some changes! Lose weight, Exercise more, Be more in tune to your family, Spend less time at work, Make more money, Be a better person…. Yada, Yada, Yada.

And, if you’re like most people you will start out with great positive intentions, saying “This is going to be The Year!”. You’ll get through the 1^st week, even the 2^nd. You may even make it to February….

What I’m wondering is, When are you going to start? It’s only a few more days till 2009. Why not start today?

That’s the problem with a New Year’s Resolution. It starts with procrastination!! That’s right, procrastination, and where does that get you? It’s like starting your diet on Monday… IF you do wait and start the diet on Monday, you maybe like so many others that make it a few days, have a set back, then tell themselves, it’s ok….”I’ll start on Monday.” It’s a crazy cycle, that just makes you feel worse in the end.

Don’t let your 2009 goals be like that Monday Diet. You can do a few things right now, Today, Tomorrow and the next few remaining days, to get started, get that momentum going. It makes me think of the saying, “Strike while the iron is hot.”

I came across a quote the other day, a Chinese Proverb: “Procrastinate one day, 10 days go by”.

How true is that one? I know that has happened for me more times than I would’ve liked. Life is full of so many things that need to get done, NOW. We put off the little things that only take a few extra minutes to do, like making healthy food choices, walking 20 minutes a day, taking some time for the kids and so forth. Those little things are the ones that can make a Big Difference.

Remember, in the words of Tony Robbins, “Procrastination is the thief of time”.

Here’s to a New You, Right Now! Cheers!

~Brenda

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Is clutter holding you back?

How does clutter make you feel?

What are some of the thoughts you have when you see piles of paper, unfinished projects you've set aside, stacks of mail, dishes piled by the sink, stuff you're going to get to later, boxes of pictures, a pile of unfolded laundry, or backpacks, shoes and coats heaped by the door?

Do you have a spare room that you shut everything in that you'll deal with later, or a garage so full that you can't even park your car in there anymore? Now that we are in the digital age clutter has taken over your computer, even your camera!

It's almost exhausting just reading that list! Whew!

Some of the words I hear when people describe their clutter are: heavy, depressing, overwhelming, confusing, suffocating. Do you really want to feel that way? It can actually hold us back from moving forward in life and business.

How would you like to feel Clear, Focused, Light, Rejuvenated, Fresh, New, Decisive?

Clutter is actually a form of indecision. Really. Look around at some of the clutter you may have. Chances are is it something you have yet to make a decision on. Most of us would say it's because we don't have time. Time is really just an excuse.

Once a decision is made - on anything- you WILL find the time to take action. It really is a matter of priority.

Start small, take 5 minutes, that's right just 5 minutes and challenge yourself. Try it, what can you throw away in just 5 minutes? ALOT. Now stop. Look around. You really can get a lot done in a short time.

Your clutter didn't just magically appear overnight. The good news is with just a few minutes a day of concentrated effort, everyday, you will see a light at the end of the tunnel. Time is not an excuse anymore!

Are you ready to make the decision?

~Brenda

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Maintaining a Positive Attitude

Having a positive attitude is one thing, but maintaining it can be a bit more challenging in these changing times.

There is more to having a positive mental attitude, than just smiling at the people you meet and being friendly and cheerful all the time. Yes these things help, but it really starts on the inside.

There are several things that can affect your attitude in both positive and negative ways. It's all about creating awareness and catching yourself when you start to feel like you're falling into a slump.

What are some of the things you are telling yourself?  "I can't, I don't know how, It doesn't work, It's hard, I'm stuck"... Sound familiar?  When you find yourself starting your sentences this way, STOP. Think of a way to re-frame that thought, right at that moment.  It takes work to do this at first, after awhile it will become a habit.

Remind yourself, Why are you here in the first place? What are your goals? What drives you? Count your blessings. Where were you at this time last year? Celebrate how far you have come! The knowledge you've gained, the people that have come into your life.

Do you visualize what you want? Have you tried affirmations? Are you around positive uplifting people on a daily basis? What are you reading and listening to? All of these things can really make a difference in how you face the day.

Ask yourself, What is already working in your life? Write it down! Remember, what you focus on expands! 

Focus on the good things ;)

~Brenda

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Make it a GREAT day!

What would have to happen today, to make it a GREAT day?

Think about it.

This is a fun question to ask school age children. I used to ask mine this when they were in elementary school and we would be waiting for the bus in the morning. At first the answers would be pretty typical: Recess all day. No homework. Then they would really start thinking about it: Sitting with someone on the bus. Sharing something with a friend.

The great part about this was that no matter what mood they started out in, in just a few minutes it gave them a  positive outlook towards the day ahead that was waiting for them!

So give it a try yourself. Go ahead. Right now. Ask yourself, "What would have to happen today, to make it a GREAT day?"  Before you answer... here's the rule: A million dollars, a new car/house, the perfect mate, answers like that are not allowed.

Be realistic, maybe it could be something as simple as the perfect cup of coffee, McDonald's french fries, or enjoying a breathtaking sunrise/sunset. You can expand further, think of your work day and goals you may want to accomplish. Maybe you have health and fitness goals.The list is endless.

Do this in the morning when you wake up. Think of all the wonderful things that can happen throughout your day. It's a great way to set the tone for the day ahead.

Here's to a GREAT day!

~Brenda

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Life Coaching - a friend in the passenger seat

Have you ever noticed when you are driving someplace new, it seems to take forever to get there? But the drive back home goes so fast? When it's a long drive, the closer you are to your destination, the more you're looking at your map or rereading the directions.

Is it this exit or the next? Wait, did I just pass my turn? Maybe I should just turn around and go home? Constantly questioning if you're on the right track. Then out of nowhere appears a landmark or sign to remind you that you're on course. Whew, just a little bit further to go. But then as the miles pass you start to wonder again.  And then the really crazy part, you're just about there, within minutes, looking for the street name...  You turn down the radio... What's up with that?

You are so engaged in getting there, mentally, physically and even emotionally that you don't want any distractions. You just want to get there.

Life is just like that. When you are trying something new, or have a goal you want to reach.  It seems to take forever. You are going into territory where you've never been before. You become so fully focused on your desire,that when it appears to be taking longer than planned, you often doubt if you're on the right track, and begin to look for assurance.

You see signs along the way, things start to fall into place, supportive people show up.  You are then reminded that this is the right path.  And then more roadblocks appear. Am I ever going to get there? You begin to wonder.

Working with a Coach is like having a passenger along for the ride. Someone who has been on the trip already. A coach helps you prepare for the roadblocks ahead, giving you reassurance that you are on the right track. They encourage you along the way, bringing a new perspective - or a short cut, that you may have missed, had you been on your own.

Not only is your trip more enjoyable but the time seems to go so much quicker when you have someone with you along for the ride. Before you know it, you've arrived! ;)

~Brenda

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Goals - reach for your dreams

I heard a great quote the other day, "Don't wait for your light blub moment. Turn the light on yourself".

In this particular case, the words came from a guest on the Today Show, that had lost over 100 pounds. In this weekly segment, each of the featured guests have had great success losing weight and keeping it off naturally. Each week the same question is posed, "What was your turning point,(the light blub moment, the Ah-ha) that prompted your decision to lose the weight?"

I just loved this woman's viewpoint! We can all learn from it. It doesn't matter what challenges you may have in your life or what goals you are hoping to accomplish. If you are waiting for someone, or something to light that spark for you, you could be hoping for a long time.

What are your dreams? Goals? Desires? How long are you willing to wait for that spark, that inspiration, the right people to come along, the right time?  Why can't the right time be now?

Change can sometimes be frightening and uncomfortable. It's easy to stay in your comfort zone because it is familiar and it's what you know. Is that really where you want to be?

Is there something that you've been putting off? You just might amaze yourself at how easy it really is, how quickly your confidence can grow, and how your fears will begin to fade away as you start taking steps towards that light switch. ;)

~Brenda

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Kids can be great teachers

Talk about resilience, kids really are a perfect example.

Have you ever noticed how, when kids are faced with adversity or challenges they just seem to automatically snap back like a rubberband?

Think about the toddler just learning how to walk. He stumbles and teeters and falls over and over again. Only to get up and try - over and over again. Sure most of the time there is an adult somewhere nearby picking him up, helping him to balance and get going again. However, even when there is no one to come to his aid, the child will still try to get back up and get balanced and going on his own.

The great thing about that age? No negative self-talk! Do you think that toddler is saying,"Well, I fell down six times already today, what's the point in getting back up? I'm just going to fall down again."  Or, "Man, this is getting hard. I think I'll just sit here until that nice person comes over here and gets me back up." Or, "Walk? Are you kidding me, why would I want to do that, it's so much easier riding in the stroller!" 

Ok, so you get my point. But it doesn't stop there. The same thing happens when kids learn how to ride a bike. They don't stop the first time they fall off, or the second time or the third.... Sure, maybe there might be a little trepidation getting back on, but they do it anyway.

Why?  It's their drive and desire to be able to do it. That desire is so big it overrides any underlying fear. Not to mention all the benefits they are going to get back! They can have new adventures they've never had before on that bike. A bike is like a ticket to freedom when you're a kid.

What is your desire? What drives you? What are some of the benefits that will come to pass, once you go for your dreams?

Is negative self talk keeping you from stepping out, from moving forward towards the life you desire?

;) Brenda

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Personal Development- Now What?

Since I've started coaching professionally, it seems more and more people are re-thinking their lives.  Initially the first commonality I noticed was the age range, roughly between 37 and 40 give or take a year or two. Men,women, single, or with families it didn't matter. It's almost like they are on the verge of a mid-life crisis, but not quite there yet. They are just beginning to question and wonder.

The more I began to explore this,I found how common this also is among stay-at-home moms that are feeling like they "need a life too",(believe me I understand, been there done that!). Also the baby-boomers wondering what's around the corner in the next stage of their life.

Can you relate to any of the following dilemmas that others are talking about?

*I feel like time is passing me by.

*I haven't accomplished all that I thought I would by the time I've reached my current age.

*I feel an internal pull that I can't explain to make a shift in my life.

*Do I really want the next 20 years to be the same as the last 20?

*How much time do I really have left? How do I make the most of it?

*Is this all there is?

*I look at other people my age and can't believe they have it so together, and I'm still struggling.

*I feel like I'm stuck and don't know where to begin.

*I know there is more out there for me. How do I experience that without sacrificing the good things I already have in my life?

*I feel guilty and selfish for even wondering about these things. I should just be satisfied with what I already have and not rock the boat.

Do any of the above statements resonate with you? Know that you are not alone. These are all very common thoughts and feelings. The question is, Do you want to do anything about it?  More importantly, How long are you willing to feel this way? Most people live their lives with these thoughts and feelings swept under the rug only to find that in their later years,they wonder what they missed out on.

The good news is you don't have to make drastic changes to your life, if you don't want to.  By working with a Personal Coach, you can fulfill that desire for more, sometimes by just making a few simple tweaks. Doing that will shed more light on things and begin to bring more perspective to your situation. Just put your name and e-mail in the box in the upper right corner. Together we can see how coaching can work for you. So when you are 70 you won't be thinking: Shoulda, Coulda,Woulda....

;) Brenda

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