Brenda Rosaaen C.E.C. ~Personal Development Coach~

Relationships

Life is all about relationships.  Think about it. Think back to some of your most memorable moments in life. It's all about the people.

It's so easy to get wrapped up in the material aspect of life. The big house, cars, nice vacations, making lots of money.  But if you look back and some of the best parts of your life, you can bet it was most likely the people you were sharing your time with, that made the event so great.

Now, I want you to think about some of those people.... How did you meet them?  Sometimes some of the most amazing people we meet are by chance, or so we think.  It's been said that people come into your life for a reason. I happen to think this is true, personally. I also think sometimes we have to take some action along the way.

You never know the impact a complete stranger can have on your life, or you theirs.  Do you ever see the same people on a regular basis, at the coffee shop, the grocery store, etc.  Have you stopped in the middle of your busy day, to say hello and start a brief conversation?  

Sometimes the greatest friendships can start with a friendly smile and a simple "Hello".  Give it a try, you may be pleasantly surprised.

Have a GREAT day!

~Brenda

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Gratitude

Have an attitude of gratitude! How many times have you heard that one? Unless you've been living under a rock, probably a gazillion times. Every personal development coach, trainer, speaker, self-help motivational guru out there tells you to do this.

Often times it can be easier said than done.  Challenges and set backs seem to come at us from all different directions. Maybe your relationship isn't working out the way you thought it should. You've hit yet another roadblock in your career. Maybe you've lost a spouse or family member. An unexpected illness has occured. Or maybe your car finally pooped out and you have no other form of transportation.  The list goes on.

Even in the most extreme circumstances, you can find something to be thankful for, some bright spot.  It just takes some conscious effort.  Take for example the various natural disasters that are so often shown on tv, there always seems to be someone being interviewed that has found a way to turn a devastating circumstance around.

One exercise you can do is, from the moment you wake up, start making a mental list (on paper is even better) of all the things that are good in your life. For example: #1) I am alive, #2) the sun is shining, #3) the newspaper is actually at the door, not in the bushes where the paperboy usually throws it, #4) that was a really great cup of coffee...

Stop and really think of the most simple everyday things. So often we go about the day and not even notice the little things. The funny thing about gratitude is, the more grateful and thankful you are about the things and events in your life, the more you will begin to the notice all the little blessings in disguse.

Here's to the little things. Cheers!

~Brenda

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Letting Go

It's back to school time, so of course everywhere you turn there are ads about sending the kids off with everything they need, whether it be for pre-school or college.  Everywhere I turn I've been hearing about the empty nesters that are sending their kids off to college, hearing and reading about tips how to cope. Constant stories about how terribly sad the parents are that this chapter of their life is closing and so on.

My husband and I took our oldest daughter to college this past weekend.  For months now since before her high school graduation, we have been hearing others warn us about how hard it will be to go through this change in our lives.

I can't tell you the number of times people would ask us if we were feeling sad and going to miss her. Everytime we would say "No." and smile and sometimes add a comment like, "it's about time, or it's going to be great."  Of course we recieved some looks of surprise, and I know alot of them thought it was denial on our part.

Were we bad parents?  How can we not be sad about this time in our life? After we got her moved into the dorm and took care of all the details that go with that, we said good-bye and gave all the advise that parents give. Not a tear was shed.  Oh, no! Shame on us, we must be bad parents.....

Newsflash!  It's not about US!!

We are EXCITED, and have been!  Why?  Because she has a Tremendous opportunity in front of her!  We love the college that she is attending. When we look at the many things that the school has to offer, it's as if the world is her oyster!  Like any other University, it's a community in and of itself, and it completely caters to it's students. It's all up to her now if she wants to take advantage of it all. 

What does this have to do with Personal Development?  Life is not all about YOU!  When you are feeling sad, lonely, depressed, etc. it's about you. It's actually a bit selfish, if you think about it. 

In this case we were able to realize the journey was also about her. It makes it very easy to be happy and excited about the possible directions her life can go.

:) Brenda

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Kids can be great teachers

Talk about resilience, kids really are a perfect example.

Have you ever noticed how, when kids are faced with adversity or challenges they just seem to automatically snap back like a rubberband?

Think about the toddler just learning how to walk. He stumbles and teeters and falls over and over again. Only to get up and try - over and over again. Sure most of the time there is an adult somewhere nearby picking him up, helping him to balance and get going again. However, even when there is no one to come to his aid, the child will still try to get back up and get balanced and going on his own.

The great thing about that age? No negative self-talk! Do you think that toddler is saying,"Well, I fell down six times already today, what's the point in getting back up? I'm just going to fall down again."  Or, "Man, this is getting hard. I think I'll just sit here until that nice person comes over here and gets me back up." Or, "Walk? Are you kidding me, why would I want to do that, it's so much easier riding in the stroller!" 

Ok, so you get my point. But it doesn't stop there. The same thing happens when kids learn how to ride a bike. They don't stop the first time they fall off, or the second time or the third.... Sure, maybe there might be a little trepidation getting back on, but they do it anyway.

Why?  It's their drive and desire to be able to do it. That desire is so big it overrides any underlying fear. Not to mention all the benefits they are going to get back! They can have new adventures they've never had before on that bike. A bike is like a ticket to freedom when you're a kid.

What is your desire? What drives you? What are some of the benefits that will come to pass, once you go for your dreams?

Is negative self talk keeping you from stepping out, from moving forward towards the life you desire?

;) Brenda

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Self-Improvement ~ Resilience

When you come upon setbacks and frustrations in life, are you the type of person that makes lemonade out of those lemons?  Or do you stand there look and that pile of lemons and lament about how sour they are?

If you're like most people, it's real easy and very tempting to just kick that pile of lemons and let them roll all across the ground and just say, "To heck with it!".  But really what good does that do? You may get a temporary spurt of satisfaction, but in the end you are actually worse off, because now not only do you have the sour lemons, but a mess to clean up!

According to Dictionary.com, Resilience is defined as:

1.	the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.

2.	ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.

With all the things that life often throws our way, it can be pretty easy to feel bent, compressed, and stretched!  So how do you get beyond that?

One simple way is just to change your verbiage.  It takes a little bit of conscious effort at first, but just by catching yourself as your negative thoughts and words start to form, stop and try to re-frame how you're speaking. Just like adding some sugar to those sour lemons....

Now some things are just unavoidable and out of your control. But just to be sure ask yourself, "Have I done all that I can to render the situation?" If you feel you have, or the situation is of no fault of your own, another great question to ask is,"Could there be some underlying circumstances that I am unaware of?" Often times this can be the case and when you become aware of it, that can bring a totally new perspective to the situation. Sometimes solving it altogether.  :)

~Brenda

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